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The Unknown
By Hilary Preece of Tranquility
Five years ago now I relocated to France to open a tea-shop in central Brittany. I realy didn4t consider at the time how I would cope with living in a foreign country where I didn't speak the language. At first it was not a problem. I could get by in shops etc. and I worked from dawn to dusk. It is after about year it egins to hit you. You are alone. Even if you are with people you are still alone. I spent a fair bit of time in the evenings in bars and, if I'm honest I know, I put myself in risky situations. After eighteen months I was introduced to a lovely lovely man. For two and a half years we lived together. It wasn't all roses. There were unresolved financial issues which became incresingly irritating, and to be honest would probably have got worst. Last Christmas without warning he collapsed into a coma and died ten days latter. I am a Christian and my beliefs about death are straightforward. I'm not sure I believe in hell and damnation but I certainly believe that those with a faith go to heaven and live happily ever after. Dave had faith. It was't quite the same as my beliefs and I s'pose I might have worried about him except that at the moment of his death there was a rainbow directly over the hospital where he lay. That wasn't the only supernatural thing that surrounded his death. There was the CD player that came on on it's own and played the song 'It was good to see old friends, together once again', when a whole group visited to say their goodbuys. Of course I don't believe i that sort of thing, but it happened all the same. The doctors said he would move with reflex and the fact that he squeezed the hand of his son when he arrived was coincidence. IN all that period I was very unawair of Dave's presence. Now, well that's a different story. Twice since he died I hve decided to go to the pub after work. I knew Dave wouldn't like it but I didn't know what else to do, to be with people. On those two occasions someone as knocked on the door and asked if I could do them a meal. This has never happened, as far as I can remember in the four years I have run this tea-house, and it has not happened again. On one morning I said to Dave, yes I still talk to him in my head, "you are going to have to find me someone, I can't cope any longer being alone". That afternoon a young man came in who saw me on the computor and wanted to use it to check his emails. He was staying at the youth hostel. To thank me he said he would come back and cook me a meal in the evening. It was a very pleasant evening. He was an artist and he played the guitar to me while the meal was cooking. Yes he tried to grab me in the kitchen but he was respectful and backed off when I said no. No it wasn't exactly what I wanted but thinking about it Dave didn't get much right really! Yesterday I had to do some printing. I had been putting it off for weeks. Two cartrigres needed replacing and I'd never done it before. Dave did all the computor work. I carried the printer downstairs muttering "this isn't fair, you should be here to do this". I connected the computor, incorrectly as it happens, and then there was a tap at the door. It was a friend of Dave's who said " Do you want any help with your computor". Since Dave died he has only visited one other time. Trueth be known, I don't know if Dave is listening to me. I had always believed that once in heaven you wouldn't be bothered about those left behind. One thing I do know, someone is listening to me, and someone is caring for me, and someone loves me. |
 
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This intel was contributed by Hilary
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May, 2012
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