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Hilary > Intel > I cann't explain it

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I cann't explain it

By Hilary Preece of Tranquility

I have just read an article called Angels of closed doors. It explains basically that when everything is going wrong, when we cann't make something happen however much we try, there is an angel protecting us from some disaster if we contiue on that path.

I run a tea shop in Pontivy, the centre of Brittany. When I came over here my son told me it would be the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. He was right. After the initial uphoria, I spent a lot of my evenings drinking. I wasn't drunk all the time. I was quite civilised about it. I took my book to the pub, but nevertheless, the people I met at that time, did not help me. Then I met Dave.

Dave was a musician, and he became not only the resident musician at the tea house, but the love of my life, my support system, my hero. Although we went ocassionally to the pub, he didn't like pubs. He had worked in the all his life. Just before Christmas Dave died, unexpectedly. I said at that time, I would not go back to how I had been before I met him. With him I had grown, and that would stay with me. I certainly would not resort to sitting in the pub in the evenings.

The loneliness has been hard. There have been two occasions when I have decided to give in and take my book to the pub, just to get out. I live and work on the premisis. Money has been tight. The tourists have not arrived yet, and no-one has and money. On both occassions someone has literally knocked on the door and asked me if I could do them an evening meal. I don't open in the evenings in the winter. In the whole of last year no-one knocked at the door like that, infact I cann't remember it ever happening.

Funnily enough I don't feel God would mind me going to the pub, but I know Dave would hate to see it. I cann't explain it, but I can respect it.


Contributor's Note

This is not fiction

Contributed by Hilary on March 30, 2009, at 8:07 AM UTC.

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